I’m one of the storytellers this evening at Fireside Storytelling where the theme is Gastronomic Adventures. I’m telling the surreal tale of my dining adventure at The Deutschlander, a restaurant experience Nifer and i had way back in 1998 that was straight out of a David Lynch movie.

GASTRONOMIC ADVENTURES
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Doors 7:30 p.m. Show at 8 p.m.
The Jellyfish Gallery, 1286 Folsom St., in SF
Admission is $10

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This month’s theme explores the wonderful world of food … aaand things that maybe shouldn’t be food, but somehow find their way to the dinner table. Whether it’s fantastic gastronomic experiences or the eating of things that one really shouldn’t, we’re leaving this theme open to interpretation. This will certainly make for an entertaining night of storytelling. Come hungry, or … not.

For posterity’s sake and because it makes me laugh, here’s my bio that I submitted to Fireside for the evening:

Colin is a designer, developer, medical illustrator, artist, lover of tomfoolery, and aficionado of anything brewing with mirth trouble. He is known for promoting the joy of diminutive creativity and 1/16th scale pyrotechnic destruction. Also, he gets great pleasure in having convinced people that wearing heavy scratchy dapper wool attire while cycling is both fashionable and sane. In the main, all his creative output is dedicated toward continuing the Fahrion family tradition of being kinda sorta famous with little monetary rewards to show for it like his wonderful and talented mother, the inventor of Strawberry Shortcake.

Haven’t updated this blog in a while. Most my blogging needs have been filled by twitter, and more recently my two tumblrs colinaut.tumblr.com for random web finds and djcolinaut.tumblr.com for my music blogging. That said, this blog is still a great place for more long-form thought and discussions on design and development.

Relately, I’ve been on a autodidatic learning binge lately with mobile first responsive design. I’m also currently developing a new front end framework and boilerplate for my webdev work that incorporates the new best practices of mobile responsive design and uses Less CSS (or SASS) as it’s basis. There are of course tons of frameworks out there but I find most are bogged down with unnecessary crud which is hell for page weight — an issue that has become important again in this mobile web era.

Over the next few months, I will likely be writing about and responsive design tips and tricks. Also, expect this site is going to get a huge overhaul soon.

I’ll leave you with this…

The best fix I have figured out for the annoying iOS zoom orientation bug: https://github.com/catcubed/ios-zoom-bug-fix

Mother Mother new album “Eureka” sees a shift more towards rock, shedding most of their country flair and some of their eccentricity. Musically it’s still rich, with songs straddling the line between catchy and complex. If anything they’ve gotten better at their trademark intra-song shifts from head bopping fist in the air rock to grooving melodic three part harmonies. While I personally miss the eccentric country flair from their prior albums, it’s still varied and good.

Still something felt missing for me that I couldn’t put my finger on at first. Few if any of the songs off of “Eureka” pulled me in as some of their prior songs have. One of my favorite aspects of Mother Mother has always been their visually rich lyrics full of metaphors and stories and it wasn’t until my second listen that I realized “Eureka” was missing this. Their older songs like “Hay Loft” and “Neighbour” plainly lay out a story, and songs like “Train of Thought” and “Wrecking Ball” very effectively use visual metaphors to suck you in. The “Eureka” album has a few songs that still have this quality, namely “Carve a Name,” “Baby Don’t Dance,” and “In The Wings.” However, if you are like me and like your music to tickle your visual cortex and also occasionally engage you with a story then you may find this album somewhat disappointing.

Also, overall I feel the album is too studio. There are a number of songs that could use an injection of the raw energy they put into their live shows. The album version of “The Stand” is emotionally flaccid in comparison to when I heard it live during their recent appearance at the Rickshaw Stop. Live you could really hear the frustration and disgust in the chorus line: “I can hardly stand the sight of it all.” Whereas, on the album it just sounds cute and a little funny. The track “Aspiring Fires” is especially bad in this regard. For a song about being so crazy that people “run for their life” it feels rather tame without even a hint of malice hiding in the nooks and crannies. There are exceptions to this such as the song “Problems” where all three singers belt out the chorus line like a fist: “I’ve got problems! Not just ones that are little.”

That said it can be hard to capture that energy in the studio and many of their older songs are also better live. They put on a great show as the band has an excellent charisma that really shines through on stage and they are rock’n booty shaking fun.

But don’t take my word for it. You can listen to the album in it’s entirety streamed below via Soundcloud. Or just buy it. The digital version of “Eureka” is currently only $7.99 on iTunes (while Amazon has it only for $5.99, their version is missing  the bonus tracks which I think are some the best songs). I may be critical of the album but there are enough fun rocking catchy songs on there that it’s worth having and they are a great group that I feel are worth your hard earned cash — especially at that price.

Mother Mother – Eureka by RS MARKETING

Bacon wrapped hotdogs under the Doggie Diner Head. Cops, lots of cops. “It is illegal to burn trees on Ocean Beach. Those who do so may be cited or arrested,” the loudspeaker spoke up and said.*

What’s the plan? What’s the plan? Just go! Grab a tree and attempt to make it through—everyone at once and everyone for themselves. Some went straight, others zigzaged through the darkened streets. Left here, a right there, a few more blocks north hauling our post yule sacrifices avoiding the flashing lights. Then when the coast was clear hurriedly crossing the street and down to the beach.

A fire could be seen already underway to the south, but it was already thoroughly busted; so a second yule fire was lit where we stood. As it lit, a third fire could be seen sparking up further north on the beach by another rogue band of revelers. Those from the first fire came strolling to our fire looking for more Post Yule Time cheer. A couple more trees made it to the fire and there was brief lovely respite from authority who were too spread thin to even bother.

The fire died down, the last embers being shoveled over silently by a couple officers. The crowd dispersed, walking away from the beach, past the line of police cars. Sad looking lonely unburnt trees lay dropped everywhere, but it did nothing to dampen the cheerful mood. And so ended the 22nd annual Post Yule Pyre.

Post Yule Pyre (image by y3rdua)

* Up until 2006 it was legal to have bonfires on the beach. Since the ban went into place, they have steadily increased the police presence trying to stop the Post Yule Pyre tradition. As a result, Instead of one bonfire to clean up after there are several, not to mention the numerous dropped trees that lay scattered everywhere. The irony is if the authorities even quasi-sanctioned the event and didn’t chase people away, it is the type of crowd that wouldn’t be difficult to get enough volunteers clean it up.

I’m usually the prep cook not the cook in the house so I seldom post recipes. Few have the passion for cranberry sauce that I do; thus I took it upon myself this Thanksgiving to make it myself. I adapted this recipe to make…

Brandied Ginger Orange Cranberry Sauce

• 4 oranges (used to create fresh orange zest and juice)
• 1½ tablespoons of grated fresh ginger*
• 4 cups water
• ¼ cup of brown suger
• 3½ cups white sugar
• 2 tablespoona lemon juice
• 6 cups cranberries
• ¼ cup brandy*
• ½ teaspoon each of cinnamon, nutmeg, and ground clove*
• optional: ½ cup ground pecans (add during step 5)

*measurements for ginger, brandy, and spices used in step 5 are best guesses. I recommend adding slowly and tasting as you go.

1. Using a fine grater, grate the outside of the oranges to make fresh orange zest. Grate ginger. Squeeze the oranges to create orange juice.
2. Combine in a small pan 4 cups of water, all the orange zest, and 1 tablespoon of grated ginger. Cover and bring to boil; reduce heat and simmer for 15 minutes. Using a strainer separate the liquid from the orange zest/ginger mix, keeping both.
3. Using the same pan, combine 2/3 cups of the reserved liquid with 1/4 cup of the orange zest/ginger mix (you can toss the rest). Add both brown and white sugar, 1 1/3 cups of orange juice, and 2 tablespoons of lemon juice. Bring to boil; reduce heat and simmer for 3 minutes uncovered, stirring often (watch as it can easily over-boil!).
4. Add cranberries; increase heat to medium-high and boil for about 10 minutes or until the cranberries have popped and a small spoonful of sauce sets on a cold plate.
5. Remove from heat, stir in ½ tablespoon of grated fresh ginger, 1/4 cup of brandy, and then cinnamon, nutmeg, and ground clove to taste.*
6. The sauce can be jarred sealed and stored for up to two weeks in a refrigerator.

Makes about 5 cups of cranberry sauce. Yes it’s a lot but I like cranberry sauce! To make less, half all ingredients except for during steps 1 & 2: Combine 3 oranges worth of orange zest and 3/4 tablespoon of grated ginger with 2 cups of water. Drain and reserve 1/3rd cup of liquid and about 1/6 cup of orange zest/ginger mix.

There have been a lot of statements about the new TSA required WBI virtual strip search/enhanced pat-down groping. Personally, I’ve already written to my congressional representative—you can too! Also, I will be protesting the WBI virtual strip search which I feel is a trampling of my 4th amendment rights by Opting Out and receiving the enhanced pat-down.

If you feel strongly about this you need to protest now and write your representatives now when the media spectacle is high or else the WBI scanning will become mandatory like it is in the UK now and it will be hard if not impossible to go back. It’s important to note that if the WBI becomes mandatory you may still be required to receive the enhanced pat-down if they think they spot something on the scanner (a stray item in your pocket, strange clothing, etc.)

As I see it we have two choices:

1. We allow these new enhanced security requirements to stay in place in exchange for a small safety advantage.
2. Or we protest this trampling of our 4th amendment rights and accept that there is a remote but possible chance of death by underwear bomb.

Option 1 comes with a whole sort of problems including:

• The Whole Body Imaging (WBI) virtual strip search (which will likely be made mandatory as it is in the UK if we don’t protest this) which is uncomfortable for some with sexual trauma.There are also some possible minor detrimental health effects with backscatter x-rays.
• The enhanced groping style pat-down, which is required if they see anything on the WBI. This is definitely uncomfortable for people with sexual trauma; depending on how strong of a panic reaction they get they’ll either never be able to fly again or they’ll be able to get through it in an Ativan haze.
• Worse lines at airports (the WBI take longer than the metal detectors and the pat-downs take even longer)
• Higher infrastructure costs to pay for the technology and private screening rooms
• underwear bombs being replaced by clever luggage bombs, butt plug bombs, tampon bombs, or fat guy bombs covered by rolls of flesh.
• Allowing more of our 4th amendment and privacy rights to be handed over to Homeland security in the guise of safety.

In contrast, option 2 only comes with one problem:

• A possible successful underwear bomber.

For me the choice is pretty clear. I don’t want to be treated like a prison inmate every time I fly, nor do I want others to especially those for whom it would be a traumatic experience, and for this I’m willing to risk the small possibility of an underwear bomber being on my flight. In any case, I don’t see this as an increased risk of being blown up since anyone willing to fill their underwear with PETN would also be willing to fill a butt plug with it (actually that may be a better way to pack it) which the WBI won’t spot unless they have no ass.

I make this decision for the same reason I choose to bicycle even though it is potentially more dangerous than driving. For the same reason I eat sushi. For the same reason I recreationally shoot firearms and fireworks. For the same reason I do a lot of things.